every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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