Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
