at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When are your genitals available?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
