Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
