Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
