Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
