that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
