I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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