D3 body, D1 cock
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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