So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize