omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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