Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
