margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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