So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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