If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
