I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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