is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
