ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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