You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
