No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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