so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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