i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
