Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
