I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
