Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
