ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
