dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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