i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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