I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
