ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
