Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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