hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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