Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just cropdusted the office
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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