"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
