What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
