Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
