May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
