I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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