a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
