I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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