If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
