dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
