i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
