They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
