Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize