There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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