She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
