I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
