He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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