yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
