haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
