How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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