Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
