i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
