It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
