i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
