now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
