Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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