my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize